Posted by: pursuingsub17 | January 23, 2012

My life is an invasive parasite on my passion for training

Well, I’ve been a little lazy with this blog – used to be 4-5 times a week. Past year I’m lucky if it’s once a month. Probably because I haven’t had much to say lately about triathlons and marathons – my life has become a flurry of other matters taking me away from my passion. Life…so invasive.

One thing I’ve been keeping up is the weight training. But I think I’ve neared the end on that one. I started the “Power Phase” three weeks ago and to put it bluntly, I’m done. I’m done with my legs feeling like lead and putting up with lack of ettiquette in the weight room. I’m ashamed to say a lot of women really don’t know what they’re doing and thus…get someone to train you…not your boyfriend (unless he’s experienced). I’m tired of fighting for a machine or even free weights because people are hogging them. I’m tired of being around people. I want to zone out and you can’t do that weight training. So it might be time to just return to pilates bands or maybe get a TRX thingy for my little ol’ apartment.

Okay – enough whining about weight lifting. I must say, I have gained a lot of strength in my legs. My bike effort has improved. Now it’s time to just get more time in on the bike. My runs in the last month have been miserable – but then, my energy level is completely depleted. No amount of excess sleep or caution on the nutrition is helping. I’ve been sick twice this month and just exhausted and feeling overwhelmingly anti-social….more than normal for this extroverted introvert. I blame the multitude of invites that we feel compelled to attend. Why??? I’ve never been much of a social butterfly. Why are we always on the A-list? Good Lord. “We haven’t seen you in awhile!” Well, actually, yes you have. Just a month ago…or was it even three weeks ago? Unfortunately, most of it is because of family. It’s amazing how much they guilt you into either dropping a workout in favor for socializing or trying to cram your workout in so you can hurry up and be there for the party as well.

So now I have training as my excuse to decline and now I’ve been hampered by extreme exhaustion. My anxiety has taken its toll. Being around people makes me snap. As for personal problems, I’ve become numb. I don’t even give a rat’s butt anymore. I’m too tired. My vehicle has had to get towed into the garage twice in the last few weeks. Marc and I are flat broke – his client keeps “postponing” payment for one reason after another. We have a trip to Palm Springs coming up in three weeks and we’re broke. I’m sure Marc will get paid before then but it’s just one more personal problem that I’m tired of dealing with….lack of money.

I’m looking forward to the holiday too but yet again, half of it will be visiting family. I have 4 weeks holidays this year – one of them I would like to spend alone with Marc. I don’t know if that will ever happen. Maybe our wedding in Hawaii LOL. I’m not sure what I’m looking forward to more – getting married in Hawaii or actually having a holiday where we don’t know anyone!

Holy! That makes me sound like a grumpy old anti-social lady. Truth be told – I haven’t had time to myself and introverts need that time. That’s why I love training and I love training alone. It’s my time – my time away from my invasive social life! LOL. I like going away alone for awhile (like my time in the mountains) because when I come back, I’m a social butterfly again. But these past few months have been too much. I’m overdue for isolation and recharging. OMG – I don’t even want to see my best friend lately, I’m that much in need of personal time.

Hopefully my trip in February will pick me up. But by then I’ll only have 8 weeks for marathon training. Is that even possible???? I’ve lost one week already. Me thinks I might have to aim low this year – and just re-focus on my third half Ironman in Calgary.

Well looky there – hit over 691 word count. Guess I had a lot to say afterall – maybe next time it will be more positive and more about training.



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