Posted by: pursuingsub17 | July 8, 2011

That training week 14 “I haven’t trained enough!!” feeling


I’ve been so busy between work, travel, training and socializing that I haven’t had the chance to post anything in a while.

I didn’t post a race report for the Element TLC sprint race. Let’s just say it was a good race. Nutrition was good. I battled rain and cold and beat my time last year. Before the swim, I was super relaxed – unlike last year. Heart rate was good. Maybe it was because no one I knew was there watching me? Not sure. But my swim stroke was easy and relaxed. Before the start, the race director said “remember, it’s crappy weather out there so don’t think you’ll get a pr.” Maybe that made me relax – not expecting too much of myself. I was slow in T1 because I was almost too relaxed. I could tell my hill work paid off. The rain and cold didn’t bother me. I didn’t even use arm warmers. I was pokey in T2 but a little faster than T1. The run course was mucky from the rain in one section but it didn’t slow me down much. Overall? I’d say success. I managed to still keep my arse in the upper 50% :).

Over the last few weeks, I feel like I haven’t trained enough – even though my Ontri training logs state otherwise. I went for a run yesterday to do some speedwork and bonked badly at the halfway mark. Did 6.5 k in 35 minutes. That’s been pretty standard for me. But on the way back, I hit the wall. I wound up walking most of the way because I felt sick. I was overheating and my legs felt like lead. Hmm – I’m thinking it’s the 90 degree temperatures and added humidity that might have kicked me in the pants. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t sweat – or I did but it didn’t cool me off. There was little wind and the mosquitos were relentless in their constant attacks on my legs and arms. I also didn’t eat a proper lunch – only had a small greek salad. That’s it. Oh, and some Gatorade. Ok then – I know what not to do before a race. Just needed to remind myself. But I hope to God the weather isn’t hot like that on race day in a few weeks.

I took my bike into Element for a tune up. They’re pretty busy now so I said no rush since it is now pouring rain and I doubt if I’ll get the last big race simulation workout in tomorrow – not outside anyway. I was supposed to go swimming and Marc wanted to go but by the time he got home from work, he looked mentally drained and I was losing steam myself. I thought I can do the swim tomorrow after picking up my bike – and then do my big workout Sunday afternoon if the weather permits. As long as I do this, I will have only missed a 40 minute run.

So why am I feeling anxiety?? I keep telling myself this is typical. As I type this, I say to Marc, “that’s typical isn’t it? Not feeling like you’ve trained enough a few weeks out from the race?” He nods as he watches the PVR’d Tour de France from early this morning. “Yeeeeeesss.” I’ve heard him and his teammate say that several times throughout the past 6 years that I’ve known them. I’m sure pros think that too. Hell, I’ve trained more this year than last. I even started too early by mistake and will have trained 24 weeks by race day. I keep thinking that missing this swim tonight is going to spell doom for me. “That’s it…I’m going to blow the swim. I’ll suck.” Then I remind myself the swim is my strongest sport of the three. I’m like a fish. I was probably a dolphin in another life.

“The swim is my strength!” I say. Marc says “yeeeessss…so what are you worrying about??”

I start thinking I haven’t biked enough – yet I’ve biked a lot and it showed on my race and all the times I’ve taken the tri-bike out. It’s just that I’ve mixed it up by taking the mountain bike out once in a while instead or sitting on the windtrainer at the gym. My mind tells me that doesn’t count. I should have been on the tri-bike the entire time. I’m going to fail.

This is typical two weeks from the race. It’s an internal argument. This is the point where it is no longer all the athletic ability and conditioning that counts. Now it’s the mental strength that is going to make or break me. As long as I remind myself of that, the evil me will not win. Evil me must be silenced.

I’m prepared for the next two days – even have the pasta and sauce from Costco ready for tomorrow night as my “pre race simulation meal”. The water bottles are in the fridge – the gym bag with my bathing suit is already in the vehicle so I can head out for my bike and straight to the workout…inside or out.

Now I just need some duct tape….to, uh, silence a certain annoying someone who keeps telling me I haven’t trained enough! Muuuaaahahahahaha!!

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Responses

  1. I don’t think any of us ever feel like we’ve done enough training. I don’t even know what ‘enough’ would be. As the ‘perfectionists’ that we are…enough is never enough. There is always room for improvement… 🙂

    But you’re ready. You’ll be GREAT!! You totally got this… 🙂 I’ll be sending Rock Star mojo your way in July 24th… Can’t wait to hear how you do!!

    • And the more experienced you get, the worse it is!! That damned internal critic starts wondering where you could have shaved off 3 minutes instead of 20!


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