Posted by: pursuingsub17 | July 30, 2010

Ex Ironman make the worst Ironmates

Ok, I’m here at the Westin in Calgary. Got my race kit. Looks likeI already know a lot already. But that’s me. I always like to be prepared. Then we made a reservation at The Keg because it’s a great steak place located right here in the hotel. No need to stress out about having to go anywhere.

Here’s where yet again, my ex Ironman and now spectator has become the worst Ironmate ever. You see, since day one when I started training for marathons, I stated how he was useless in helping me. So here we are, two days before a very important race and back up in the hotel room he says “I’m going to call my Uncle Tony! See if he wants to go for a drink after work.” Sigh. Fine. I said he can go but I am caling it early tonight so I can stay focused and organized.

Now going backwards 4 years to 2006 and Marc’s first Ironman, he was a basket case. I was a good Ironmate. I was lectured by Coach Mark to be supportive. Marc can’t drink so neither should I. Whatever. I still had a glass of wine but really, I had no idea what was important to an Ironman. After that, every year, I was by his side. This was his day, always about him and I understood that and was a good mate.

Zip forward to today, 4 years later and it’s MY race. My nerves aren’t shot but I am expecting him to at least put me first. On the phone with Uncle Tony (who, by the way we had to see my marathon trip as well), I hear “we have dinner reservations at the Keg, why? – oh, yeah. What were you thinking? Well, give me a call back and definitely we’ll meet you”

I lost it after he hung up. I said “I wanted to go to the Keg because it’s right here.” He said “oh, I told him wherever we go, it needs to be close by.” Yeah because I will want to go back to the room if they want to stay late and booze it up. Okay, I’m not saying he can’t see his uncle Tony and if they want to come to the Keg, fine, but I’m not going anywhere else because I’ll be stuck there and can’t leave. Marc responds with “oh, no, I told him it can’t be a late night.” I’ve heard this before. He does this to me a lot and I end up tired while he visits with whomever. So I lost it.

I should have said “this weekend is not about you” but I just said “you never ask me if it’s okay – you just go ahead and make plans and I hate that.” So of course he got defensive – but really, what was supposed to be a quick drink with his uncle after work became a big family get together. And his aunt and uncle don’t get Ironman and really don’t get how important the last few nights before a race can be. I am now furious. |He’s sleeping on the hotel bed. I could barely focus getting my race bags ready. Thank God I brought my list.

Anyway, I now look like the bad guy. I’m the unreasonable cranky pants athlete who is self centered and my behaviour is completely unwarranted. I’m sure that’s what he’s thinking. How quickly he forgets where he was 4 years ago. Still a prima donna – everything is always about him. He wouldn’t even answer questions I had about my transition bags.

I can see now the issues in Ironman relationships. I did, however, think that he would (of all people) be just as supportive as I was.


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