Posted by: pursuingsub17 | June 23, 2010

How can I fit in the time to train???


Well, I finished a sprint triathlon on Sunday. It was okay. I did 1:41:46. I was tired on the swim and the bike sucked. My run went well. So that just goes to show you where I’ve put more of my energy into.

I wasted all my time training for that marathon. And for what?? I didn’t even do it. Days that should have been spent on the windtrainer were my marathon training days. Never again. I train for a triathlon. If I do a half or full marathon, so be it. The goal was always the Calgary 70.3 triathlon. So why I felt it was okay to focus on just running to train for the marathon I don’t know. Next year I have to be more disciplined – I have to realize I can’t skip bike workouts to focus on something else. I have 5 weeks left before the big race. I don’t feel prepared anymore.

What’s worse is that there are so many things I’ve had to deal with outside of work that I’ve done little training the last two weeks. This week sucks. I have banking isues that need to be dealt with, property taxes and an application for monthly payments to be able to afford the property taxes that wound up getting mailed late. I have flowers that have been sitting in little temporary planters since mid May. I haven’t planted them yet. My laundry basket is forever full – one basket full of clean clothes and one full of dirty clothes. I don’t even go to my drawer for a shirt – I have to dig it out of the clean laundry basket. My kitchen is in a perpetual mess. I don’t have time to make lunch for myself. On top of that I have to train? When? And I’m so exhausted.

Part of me just wants to postpone Ironman. My goal was 2011 but I’m starting to think that’s not going to happen. I have no help. I can’t afford a maid. Boyfriend works 24/7. When he is home, he has enough time to eat and then go to bed. He’s exhausted. He hasn’t trained at all. He’s also bailing on Ironman Ceour d’Alene because he has too many work projects. That’s what he says – he doesn’t want to miss work. I think it’s because he knows he can’t do another Ironman with very little training. But he’s bringing that on himself. He’s working hard to pay for two expensive vehicles he insisted on having. Now he’s working his arse off Monday to Sunday.

This month has literally been one from Hell. Work is stinking busy. I go home so exhausted and angry I want to punch someone. The sound of my boss’ voice pisses me off. She whines about not having enough time to do this and that. Welcome to the club. Family commitments, birthdays, taxes due, bank calling me, Westin hotel overcharged me a night on my credit card…I have no time to even call them to fix that!! Why should I have to fix it??? Can’t they be more careful?

I’m ready to explode – and the last thing on my mind is putting in a bike and a run. Times like this I just wish I was a barfly again.

I really don’t know how I’m going to do it. I need more help. I have no support. Marc had lots – me, his family, his job. I have nothing. I just think this dream of mine is going to go down the toilet. 😦

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Responses

  1. I hear you. I know exactly how you feel. I was there myself not so long ago. But I hope you don’t let your dream go down the drain. Maybe it needs a slight adjustment or modification in timing or priority or your own expectations of yourself. (And I am in now way being critical of you…just speaking from experience here.) Plan…deviate but never give up.

    And you do have support. I’m with you all the way. Okay maybe that isn’t much. I like live halfway across the world and can’t clean your house…in fact, until last Saturday I was expecting DHEC to show up and declare my house unfit to live. I cleaned instead of running…I’d have rather ran but it is what it is…you know.

    Control what you can control and let go of the rest. Easier said than done I know. Believe me I know…but if you give up then the demons win. I sometimes wish I could go back to being a big fat couch potato. It was much easier…but I wasn’t being true to myself.

    Hold on tight to the dream. Deviate from the plan but never let go of the dream. Enjoy your vacation. Come back refreshed, renewed…and ready to pursue the dream!! I’ll be waiting… 🙂 Enjoy yourself!!

    • Thanks for the pep talk. I felt really at the bottom yesterday. I know I have a lot of support and encouragement from my new found friends in the virtual world. I guess I’m just complaining about my job and too much going on in my personal life. When I’m asked to stay late, I can’t say “but I’m missing an important workout!” My boss doesn’t care because she doesn’t get it. She’s an occupational therapist so she thinks what we’re doing to our bodies is nuts. Sometimes I just wish there were two of me!

      I have decided to postpone Ironman until 2012 though. I think it’s the right decision. We’re going to be buying a house next year so that will add to my lack of time to train. Still going to do a half Ironman and a couple Olympic distances though. Way I see it, by 2012, I’ll be uber prepared!

  2. GOOD FOR YOU!! And nothing wrong with complaining. The balance of work and personal life is such a delicate balance and sometimes it is completely UNBALANCED.

    Right now I’m juggling two jobs and trying to train for my next marathon. It gets CRAZY but I do what I can…let go of the rest.

    But if there were two of me…what I could accomplish…like more sleep…LOL! Actually I’m really glad you’re not giving up (although I never thought you would 😉 ) I will need your expertise if I decide to pursue a triathlon. I’m just toying with the idea but in case I decide to join the dark side… 🙂 Have a WONDERFUL vacation!


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