Posted by: pursuingsub17 | June 2, 2010

The guilt of bowing out of a race

So I didn’t run the marathon. It was a very tough choice and it involved a lot of pacing about my hotel room, looking out the window several times, checking my Blackberry to see if the Weather Network changed their mind about the day, and going outside in the running gear that I bought to see how cold it was.

I still don’t know if I made the right choice. I kept thinking “all that training” and I look at my old medal hanging from my rear view mirror and realize that I couldn’t replace it with the new marathon one. The weather was ugly but maybe I could have tolerated it? There were a lot of runners who ran who said it was horrible. Maybe if I did it, I would have had the worst finishing time ever. That would be a big let down.

I looked at other races this weekend but they’re not the same. They’re half marathons and 10ks. They are good fundraisers – very good causes – but I’ve lost the drive to do it. On top of that, I am looking after my parents house and their old dogs this weekend – who require a lot of care. So heading out of town again to do a marathon isn’t doable.

The Summerside Triathlon is on this weekend. I have half a mind to do it. It’s in town. The dogs can handle being on their own for 4 hours so I could do it. I have another sprint tri on June 20th so it would have to be the sprint distance – not the olympic distance. It would be like a good training day – even an open water swim. Have to think about it. Still doesn’t prove to me if I could beat my old marathon time from last year though. But it may be what I need to get rid of the “post-race-that-I-never-did” depression 🙂

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