Posted by: pursuingsub17 | July 30, 2009

The art of getting my point across – something I need to improve.


I’ve realized in all this that I’m quite direct with my writing but verbally – not so much. I avoid stating the obvious. Started way back in those awkward pre-teen years when I learned the hard way not to trust people with my deepest feelings. Horrible thing for a kid to learn. The result was like someone pulling your basketball shorts down in the middle of a big game and you’re left standing in center court with a sold out crowd watching while you stand stunned like a deer caught in the headlights, exposed to the world. If you don’t get that, put yourself in poor Flavia’s shoes (or malfunctioning swimsuit) and you see what I mean.

Marc was positive I’m upset that his job is taking him away from quality time together. Oh, for the love of Pete. No! I told him (gals, never discuss issues in bed when they’re half asleep) he has to get his priorties straight and decide what is important to him. “How am I supposed to quit now?” Still about the job. Jesus. I said “it’s all this extracurricular stuff you’ve been doing.” He took that as his reno business that he’s doing on the side. Sigh.

This morning he looked like a beat up puppy. He called me at the office, and I said “look, I’m going to say this while I’m in a good mood and rational. This isn’t about your job – it doesn’t take you away from me. I’m mad because you’re too tired to help me out but you keep caving to the demands of others.”

“What do you mean?” he asks (groan). I told him I had set a marathon goal of under 4:30. I said I’m taking up triathlon to be competitive in my age group – I’m not doing this just for fun or a new hobby. “So while you’re spending all your spare time offering others your support and guidance, I’ve been left to fend for myself.”

Ding dong, the light went on.

“Oh!” he says “Oh, okay.” Relieved that I wasn’t about to make him quit his business or leave him. 

He’s finally got it. I’ve already paid my dues to join a local team and he gets that – but I did say I would still like his advice and support. Honestly, I’m still proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished this year – but I don’t want to ignore him if he wants to feel like he’s contributing. Thankfully he’s not quitting a job he loves. I didn’t want that at all.

What’s next? Okay – focus on the race girl. Marc told me to drop the biking and swimming next week – too much before the race when I should be taking it easy. This week I have a bike scheduled tonight, a run Friday, a swim Saturday, and a 25K Sunday. Monday, I’m attending a local multi-cultural festival. Then, it’s all about race prep next week. Gear – creative visualization – mental strength.

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