Posted by: pursuingsub17 | July 17, 2009

Ye of little faith

Ha! Bet you all thought I’d bail on the run. Nope. On Thursday night, I came home, walked the dog, tried to ignore the fact that it was +27 and humid – hey, there were dark clouds coming so it might cool off. I got home, put the dog in her kennel and thought, “okay – speedwork. I’ll do an hour – warm up for 20, run hard for 20, cool down for 20.

I headed out choosing the flattest path in the ‘hood. After warming up for 10 minutes, which wasn’t really a warm up ‘cos I could feel I was running fast, I picked up more speed. After 20 mins, the dark clouds were over me and it looked like a funnel cloud was ready to form. I was in a neighborhood located in the middle of a golf course. I could duck into someone’s house – wouldn’t be a problem. So I kept running. It was windy. I leaned into it and surged forward. The thought of lightening was more on my mind than a tornado. Nearing my 7.75 k mark, and pretty much at my condo building, I noted my time – 36:42. No shit, really? Really??? OMG – remarkable. Last time I ran that route was at the beginning of my training a few months back and I was proud that I got just under 43 mins then. So I thought maybe I could go a little further – which wound up being another 5.6 K – but the big accomplishment was that I hit the 10K mark at 55 minutes. Jesus – pr for me – race OR training.

I slowed down a little more heading back but in the end, I had hit the 9 minute mile mark. Yeah, I was pooped. But I wasn’t sore – no back or knee pain. I was huffing and puffing but I didn’t feel like my heart was going to explode. Short story, an amazing run and a great step forward in my goals. I had to text Marc right away – who was at the football game with his brother. He texted back, “great job sweetie!!” with the thumbs up symbol. Here I was scared I had set myself back with taking too many days off – maybe that’s what I needed.

Today, I biked for 20 mins and ran for 45 – a little slower than yesterday but that’s okay. It wasn’t speedwork – and I still hadn’t recovered fully from the night before, ran after biking, and it was hotter than yesterday evening. What’s important is that I worked out again and got a bike ride in.

Let’s see if I can keep it up for tomorrow. Marc’s out on a 6 hour bike (yikes) and I need to get a swim in. I’m going out for dinner tonight with my parents so we’ll see if I make it to my favorite pool or not as they only have a lot of lanes open until 8:30 am. It’s my cousin’s birthday tomorrow night – she’s 25. I know she would really like to see her crazy older cousin whoop it up like she did a few years ago but those days are behind me. I’ll go for a couple of hours but if I’m going to do 35K in the scorching heat on Sunday, I’ll want to start by 7:30. That means leaving the party early. Hopefully she’ll understand. Sigh – maybe not until she’s 40 herself? Regardless, I have to stick to my program and do what is important to me. Remember that demon called self-sacrifice? Yeah – that’s what’s happening here so I have to nip this in the bud soon.

By the way – something I didn’t mention after my road race July 1st. That was an anniversary for me. Four years ago from that day I had been on a full day drinking binge (it was Canada Day but that was just an excuse). I’ll spare the details – save it for another day – but that day it was hot, it was a long weekend, and I was struggling with the fact that I was in an unhappy marriage and wanted to leave my husband but I just didn’t have the guts. I drank all day. By 10pm I was sitting in our regular pub, drunk out of my skull, and passed out from the heat and the booze. I fell off the barstool onto the hardwood floor, smacked my head on the hard floor and was out cold. Again sparing the details, I survived but I changed after that night. There was a huge, violent fight with my husband that night as we were both really drunk but I found the nerve to leave him two weeks later to begin a new life – I’ve joked with others that the person I had become died that night on the bar floor and the new me arose. So that’s why that race was so important to me. It symbolized everything I had become since that horrible night. It’s been a struggle but I’m no where near what I used to be and I’m getting stronger.

Well, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be but it’s a special blog. I revealed something that I wasn’t sure I was going to – and at the same time, I shared a big accomplishment. I guess what I’m trying to say is that life is full of hurdles and challenges but if you can just put on your running shoes and surge forward against the wind, you’ll realize you can not only make it, but with persistance, you can shine.

Email me:


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: