Posted by: pursuingsub17 | May 20, 2009

Triathlon is a lonely road

I don’t know for sure yet but it sounds like Marc might not make my first triathlon race. There’s a possibility he won’t be in town. He can’t change it and nor do I expect him to drop everything to support me when it’s out of his hands but at the same time, I finally understand how this choice of athletic pursuit affects a relationship. Many times it’s the “non-triathlete” spouse who just doesn’t get their partner’s need to constantly train four months of the year. Family events get postponed – partners feel ignored.

I don’t agree with that self centered philosophy. Partners should be supportive. I’m a loner – I certainly didn’t mind spending the day to myself while Marc was out on a four hour bike ride and two hour run on a Sunday. I’m not jealous of his fixation on his bike. That’s just dumb.

But this is different. I feel like the amateur athlete who is going to the big meet without their coach. I’ll be a basket case. I don’t even know how to attach my bike rack to my car. I guess I have two weeks to learn but of course this is just one little thing that’s eating at my brain. I’ve never swam in a wetsuit. I’ve never even put one on! What if I forget something? What if I don’t know how to get to the race? Where do I park?

Normally I wouldn’t be this stupid but I will have more important things on my mind than to have focus on whether or not I remembered to take the dog for a walk before I left. All that should be on my mind is if I have all my gear and what should I use as a bag? Where is my timing chip? Will I remember to put on my Body Glide under my suit? When should I put my swim cap on and can I pee in a wetsuit? Where should I be in the swim crowd at the start? What direction did they say to swim? How many laps? What happens if I blow a tire in the race??? I don’t even know how to change a tire. Did I forget my bike pump? Must remember to make sure the tires are at the right pressure. Does the bike look okay? What needs to be tweaked? Should I arrive early to have my bike looked over by the pros? Did I remember my water bottle, gels and sunglasses?

Marc was a nervous ninny at his first IronMan. He needed someone there to create a balance – or at least telling him that checking his transition bag every half hour will not make things magically appear if they’re not there. I won’t have that if he’s not there. I’m seriously thinking of dropping out.

Last night I admitted for the first time that maybe going this alone was not a good idea. Marc insisted that I didn’t need to join a team. I’d hate training with others (which, I admit, I’m an introverted athlete). I didn’t need advice from a coach – I had him. Well, first off, he hasn’t been the greatest “coach”. He has yet to set up a training program for me. I got it from (but he will make a comment when he disagrees with my schedule). He has never been on a training swim, bike or run with me to see what I am doing right or wrong. He’s given good advice when I ask but doesn’t offer. I know he’s probably backing off because it’s like teaching your girlfriend how to drive a standard but I really do see now that I should have at least joined a small team. Then I would have someone to share the first race jitters with or get last minute advice from.

Instead – I’ll be alone. That thought will be the one noose around my neck come race day. If he can’t be there, my greatest fear is choosing not to do it. Wish me luck.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: