Posted by: pursuingsub17 | April 15, 2009

I know I sound like a broken record

Odd how it’s the weekends where I’m usually strong but the weekdays are my enemy. I don’t know whether it’s my job that’s draining me (or stressing me out) or I’m burned out from my job or maybe it’s boredom but the lust for a drink is stronger on the way home from work than the desire to work out.

A friend of mine said it’s because it’s easier just to crack open a beer or pour yourself a drink then go to the gym and work it off. So maybe it’s laziness. I’m not sure. I did notice last night that I will not work out if I’ve come home and eaten first. Marc isn’t like that. He went for a run at 8pm after eating a huge taco meal. I can’t do that. And as much as it is nice to have him make dinner, he makes it too early. Then I just sit there watching horrible television and bored out of my mind and a stomache too full to go work out. I wish he would realize I’m not like that. I couldn’t work out after work because he was insistant that he make dinner and I had to eat within a half hour of getting home. I didn’t even have time to check my email. If I said I wanted to work out first, he would have said that I should eat first. No.

So there are a few things going on here. My inability to say “eat if you want to! I’ll eat later!!” (what is it with men feeling they have to eat at the same time as their spouse/partner/girlfriend???) I should have just said no, I will eat when I’m hungry and that will be after my work out. Unfortunately, I was also completely drained from work so I didn’t even have the energy to argue. So what happened? I mixed myself a drink to take the edge off, drank two, ate, watched 2 episodes of Lost while drinking a beer, another vodka ceasar, and then Marc went for a run. I could barely move I was so full from dinner and a late lunch – and now full of booze so I mixed and drank two more drinks while he was out. Finally, I got on the computer and started doing some research and applying for some writing jobs and I noticed I had no desire for a drink.

Conclusion? First off, work drains me to a point that I can’t muster up the energy to work out, never mind stand up for myself without sounding like a complete ungrateful bitch (very nice of him to make dinner). I need to tell him he isn’t doing me any favors by making dinner for me at an early hour and I’m NOT like him. I don’t process food like he does, I handle stress differently and I prefer to work out at different times then him. I don’t go home and take a nap for two hours before deciding to go for a run. If I don’t go first thing in the morning or immediately after work, it ain’t gonna happen my friend. Second, I drink because it calms my hyperactive brain as well as because I’m bored out of my mind. I used to eat when I was a kid because I was bored – not because I was hungry. So this is the same thing. I’m not even looking to get drunk. I just like the taste.

Anyway, yesterday was a write off and I’m mad at myself. I just need to be more vocal and should have insisted that I work out first. “But dinner’s almost ready.” He always says that. Good. Eat it then. I’ll eat it later. I’m sure it will still be there when I get back. So I drank instead because we ate early and I had nothing to do. Great. That’s just great. I didn’t get drunk but I packed on extra calories and risked dehydrating myself.

Well, today is another day. I ran for a half hour this morning. He hates morning work outs. Maybe I should drag him out of bed. I have to do an hour and a half bike ride tomorrow.

Until tomorrow, I shall remain “The Grumpy Drunk”.



  1. Great job on your finish. I found your blog thorguh IronWaddler’s blog. I am seriously interested in this race for 2011. Any info on the course (either by e-mail or in your race report)would be greatly appreciated! I’m trying to get answers from a diverse range of people I know who have done the race: you as an under 30 yr. old; a 60+ male; and another woman in my age group who also lives in the area and is used to the terrain and climate. Also, was the weather typical for that time of year?

    • Sorry it took so long to get back to you – I’ve been blog AWOL the last little while. The weather is typically +20 celcius. Although the first year I did it, it rained but I over heat so it was a welcomed rain. Cleared up for the run so I warmed up then. It’s a beautiful race course! Well supported too.

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